What my eyes see.....

Im seeing this life....
with my eyes.....
from i was born until im here now...
stand in the crowd of human..
its so clumsy but still okey...
but my mind...
my soul....
crowd...
war....
debating....
attacking...
defense...
all this term and what suitable for it...
is always slaughtering my mind...
i think when i grow up...
when i go deeper into the knowledge...
even what is so fundamental for us...
i think my mind and soul can become...
more clear...more calm..
but......
its totally differ...
what i see now...
more debating of the fundamental issue...
more confusion of human mind...
about life....
value become meaningless....
kindness become foolish action...
this brain.....
or what they call as reason part...
become the highest priority...
even in all matter...
until revealation and the fundamental understanding were challenged...
the loss of respect,loss of beleive...
in the part of this life until leading towards the questioning...
the sacred part,reveal part..
i dunno what humans in this world become....
is it everyone which come earlier become crazy until it become like this???
from the part of idealism...everything become crazy and slaughtering our mind...
some people...
although surrounded by this sacred life...
become confuse and refute...
until they said that paper of revealation prisoning their mind....
until they cannot see what they call the 'truth'..
for them....
the truth is what are totally free.....everything is totally independance!!!
but what are the limits in their concept??
No,they had no limit!!!
Im sad...Im sick...when i know my society...
especially my generation...become thinking like this...
i dunno where is the mistake...
im not perfect...
but the cruelness in the mind conception until blind and deaf towards the sacred..
it is become sickness for me...
to look at this part of human...
to think the way they are look at this world....
because for what they fight..
for what they beleive...
i cannot control it,even i cannot force it...
because the truth can be accepted only until it reach their heart...
i juz can only pray...for us to be guided by ALLAH toward the way of Him...
this is my limitation..that is not me to give them light...i am only slave
who are not perfect...i hope for my nation...
for my ummah...
to free....
but please....
free from any illusion...
that make up our mind...
from seeing the truth...
and the purpose of our life in this world...
for me...
physical colonialism is ten time lighter rather than...
mind and soul colonialism...
i hope for my heart and mind...
can become peace again...
to improve myself...
and to face this lying,crazy and cruel world...
thanks to Allah and forgive my sins....